It feels to good to free, to be me.
Why did it take so long?
Why was I so afraid?
It took me a long time to realise my potential but not only that it took me a long time. It took me a hell of a lot of unnecessary darkness. I have had now several awakenings, all life changing, transformational and in my mind so necessary, however uncomfortable and ugly they were at the time. So bloody necessary for the evolution of my soul.
I am not afraid, no longer hiding in my shadows because I am aware I am creating this reality, the soul realisation fully came about three years ago whilst I was staring at the moon one night. It was like the moon was connecting and communicating with me and in that moment I became alive. I decided in that moment that things could go my way and that I wanted to feel that way for as long as possible. It was the day everything changed for me.
In that moment, those few seconds of self reflection and self realisation I felt within the depth of my core that I could be and should want to be the best version of myself, not only to me but to the world. Because the world needs me to be me. So many women I have admired over years because they showed up as themselves and that was inspiring, I wanted to be that person not just for me, but to be a possibility for someone else.
To know ourselves and truly, like to the depth of my fucking core is to live free. I wake up everyday,like it’s a new day a new possibilities to live this life on my terms, I also know what its like to live in the shadows of your own existence. I lived that way for so long. It was tragic and tiring to be constantly people pleasing, to be worrying only about what the world wants you to be and not to be aligning with your true self.
Unfortunately no matter what we do we will be judged, no matter how hard we try to please there will be some people who are never satisfied, I found this out with my own mother. I found for many years she was comparing me to other children, she was comparing herself to other women and in because of the behaviour she was displaying, I grew up a woman who was constantly comparing herself to other women.
When I say it finally feels free to feel good
OMG SO FRIGGIN GOOD
My only hope is that more women will love themselves to the point of feeling free. Truly free and that they get to live out their lives wild and awakened to the possibilities life has to offer
I accidentally fell into coaching, but its always been my calling to hold a space for others, sometimes to my own detriment and thats why boundaries are so important. It’s something we dig deep into on my coaching programs, the shifts you make when you honour yourself are out of this world and I am always blown away with the results when the realisation kicks in.
When I first started to say NO everything changed, when I started to take back my power, I started to feel more confident and more in charge with who I was and who I wanted to be in the world. I started to claim my birthright to exist , to feel free,to be me.
THE ONLY SAVIOUR YOU NEED IS YOURSELF
I spent my early twenties in church, I was depressed, anxious, addicted to drugs and alcohol, desperate for love and so unaware of my true beauty. I only saw flesh, even in church I was looking to pick up men. The unconscious mind was like yes I will find my knight in shining armour here, I will find him and I will be happy
LOL, YES IT’S AMUSING NOW!
Some 16 years on and grateful for the knowledge I have of myself but this hasn’t been easy. I know it’s not easy, self love is one of the hardest things I have had to do. To look in the mirror and say “ I LOVE YOU!” In fact everyday I look in the mirror and tell myself I am badass and I genuinely feel it. I hope I can spread my light far and wide into the world so that more women get to feel this way. Because truly we are worthy, it breaks my heart to see women living in the shadows. This is why I write, I speak and I share
I AM NOT FREE UNTIL WE ARE ALL FREE
I AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME
Although I am totally in love with my life, it has taken me a long long time to say that with confidence and to actually mean it. Like to feel it even because for so long it was dark and lonely and self loathing and looking for validation and it became so yuck! I was constantly looking outside of myself for validation and oh how I wish I could just get a time machine and tell myself “ You fucking awesome, stop doubting yourself “
The world will pull you in every direction and you will want to go where its popular, trendy, you might want to act or dress a certain way just to “fit in” Please don’t, I promise the magic you have inside you is good enough
YOU ARE ENOUGH
I made a decision by the moon one night to be my truth to be my truth. For my way to be the way that will set me free. I choose wisely that night. I hope many other women will join me on that path.
I am running a 7 day Queendom challenge for my Queens , we kick off on Monday 16th October click here for more info.
All my love